Relationships
Archived article from Dec 10, 1999
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What this may mean for the well-being of children -- and for society in general -- is, of course, another matter entirely.
Parents and children
Maurice J. Elias, professor of psychology
However difficult it may seem to be a parent now, it is not likely to get any easier at the start of the new millennium. Trends in the 1980s and 1990s that have led to the difficulties are going to continue. There will be a growing number of influences on children, along with more sources of distraction. Never before in human history has there been so much information going directly to children unfiltered by adult caregivers. At the same time, we live in an age of hecticness, rushing from thing to thing, wondering if all of our arrangements will work out.
However, the basics of human biology, child rearing and parent-child relationships have not changed. Trends toward neglecting our feelings as adults and as parents and negating the role of feelings in our children's healthy growth will serve mainly to fuel family unhappiness. We risk more than we realize when we emphasize the intellect of children but forget their hearts. And, of course, our children pay as well, as indicators of their troubled behaviors continue to climb.
It's hard to predict next week, let alone the next century, but before the next two decades pass, I believe there will be a revolution in parenting (and in education) that will be rooted in the biology of human emotions, cognition and relationships. Parents will begin to realize that their role in guiding their children through the ever-thickening information and mass-media morass is more important than ever. They will realize the awesome responsibility that goes along with being a parent, and they will give renewed priority to working with their own and their children's emotions in intelligent, constructive, positive and creative ways.
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